


Internalization

by notwhatyouseeinthemovies



Category: Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, John is the best ally anyone could ever ask for, M/M, Nick needs a Hug, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 07:10:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22007125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notwhatyouseeinthemovies/pseuds/notwhatyouseeinthemovies
Summary: John and Nick have always been at odds. Nick thinks John is a pansy. John thinks Nick is a prick. Will they ever find something that will bring them together?(Spolier: they will.)
Relationships: John/Nick
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Internalization

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome back to my new special interest (otherwise known as Anna and the Apocalypse). This is a gay little thing I wrote in a few hours and wanted to share it with all of you zombie musical nerds. I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> (WARNING, THIS TAKES PLACE IN AN AU WHERE A CERTAIN CHARACTER DOES NOT DIE)

“We good to go? Or does John need to change his tampon?” 

John smirked at Anna as Nick made his way out of the building and into the shopping centre. He really wanted to roll his eyes, but instead, he just gave his best friend a loving smile, saying, 

“I can really see why you find him so irresistible” 

The words were said sarcastically, and yet, John could see why Anna fancied him. Well, maybe if he squinted. The guy was tall, attractive, had striking eyes and, John supposes as Lisa said, hes got a body you could lick chocolate off…but, okay, ew, John did not want to be thinking about that right now or ever for that matter.   
The major problem was with his personality, and at least Anna could kind of see that past the tall, dark and handsome wall Nick put in front of her. Sure, John wasn’t going to lie to himself, he was in love with Anna. He had been ever since they were kids. One of those Pretty in Pink situations, you know? And though he, like Ducky Dale, didn’t get the girl of his dreams, he still wishes the best for her. He wants her to find her own Blane Mcdonough one day, however, she seems to be hopelessly falling for a Steff McKee instead. Now that’s a fucked-up twist to put in your movie, one John isn’t too keen on. 

“Are you sure this is the right way?” 

Steph muses, coming up alongside Nick as he turns to her with a glare. 

“Yeah Lennox, I’m sure” 

“Stop calling me that!” 

“And what are you gonna do about it, fairy?” 

“You know that’s a slur, right?” 

“What are you talking about? I’m not slurring my words. I’m completely sober”

Nick smirks, walking on ahead, a bit faster to escape one of Steph’s long-winded speeches about equality and gay rights no doubt, which, to be fair do go on for quite some time. Damn, that girl can debate for hours. 

“Fucking repressed homosexuality…hyper-masculine piece of shit” 

Steph mumbles to herself, crossing her arms over her chest as she continues walking behind Nick, at a fair distance this time, likely wanting to avoid more of his bullshit. 

The five of them arrive at the school in no time at all, seems Nick did know where he was going after all. Well, at least he’s good at one other thing besides being a wanker. Dealing with Savage was no easy task, having to avoid a horde of zombies he thrust upon the school whilst searching for their loved ones. John’s mom was nowhere in sight and he knew he’d have to accept the worst soon enough, but now was not the time to be dealing with those thoughts. They still had to find Mr. Shepard and Chris’s loved ones, hopefully all in one piece. 

The group ended up splitting into two, Steph and Chris going to rescue her car keys from the clutches of Savage’s contraband cage, while Nick, John and Anna searched for her father. Anna heard Savage’s laugh coming from the auditorium and was off like a shot, yelling behind her something about having to deal with him alone, knowing he would know where her dad was. Nick was just about to run after her when John held him back. 

“Hey, she needs to do this alone. She’s her own person you know, and she doesn’t need your help.” 

“That’s rich coming from you. I heard you were trying to convince her to stay here instead of going off, exploring the world, you know, being her own person.”

“Alright, I’ll admit it, I wished she’d stayed. But I’d give anything right now to turn back time on this whole zombie shit show so she could live her dreams. Honestly, if anything was holding her back it was you.”

“Me? Why me? What the fuck do I have to do with this?” 

“She was so in love with you, you idiot. If you said you actually gave a shit about her, she’d drop everything and stay with you in this god-forsaken town.”

“Oh…” 

“That’s it? You are such a prick.” 

“Hey, just cause she didn’t want you, don’t take it out on me, okay? Now, if we’re not allowed to help her, we might as well loot this place. The wood-shop classroom has to have some good weapons. What do you say, John-boy?” 

“Fine” 

John grits his teeth and walks with Nick down the silent halls and into the deserted classroom. The entire place has an eerie feel to it, and that’s not just because of the zombies lurking about. Just yesterday the entire place was filled with noise, sounds of people yelling down the halls, teachers giving lectures, Savage breaking up displays of PDA. Now it’s all over, done with, gone. Is this the end of society? 

“Hey, this looks good, eh?” 

Nick holds up a wrench, a silvery shine coming off it as it catches the light coming from the hall. 

“Yeah, sure, I suppose” 

John muses as Nick starts rummaging through his bag. 

“God John, you know nothing about being a fighter, do you? It’s pathetic. No wonder Anna isn’t interested in you, you’re just wea-Shit!”

Nick growls as his bag falls to the floor, several knives and other smaller weapons scattering out onto the linoleum. Hopefully the noise doesn’t attract a horde. When the coast seems clear, Nick begins picking up his things and stuffing them back into his rucksack. John comes to his side at the floor, handing him various weapons and tools before noticing a small, cylindrical piece of blue plastic. He picks it up, pushing at the bottom of the device, expecting a small blade to pop out the top, but instead, it’s a piece of cotton. 

John’s never seen one in the wild, and had no idea they came packaged like this, but the image of little cotton cylinder is something John remembers being advertised on the telly or maybe in a health class. 

Nick looks over, realizing John has stopped helping him and his eyes go wide upon seeing the little plastic applicator in John’s hand. Nick quickly snatches it up and stuffs it back into his bag, looking down with a furious gaze, as if the floor was his mortal enemy. 

“Nick…why do you have that?” 

“Just shut up okay” 

“Nick are you-” 

“I said shut up!” 

Nick shouts, quickly standing up and throwing his bag over his shoulders, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he leans over one of the workbenches.   
John stands up as well, leaning in and putting a tentative hand on Nick’s shoulder. 

“Nick…its okay if you need those. And I can get you more of them if you ever run out.” 

Nick shakes under John’s touch, eyes breaking out into a full flood of tears, cursing at himself under his breath. 

“It’s gonna be okay, I promise I won’t tell anyone” 

“I’m such a fucking pansy” 

Nick takes in a sharp breath as he wipes his eyes with the back of his sleeve when John suddenly takes him by his shoulders and forces him to look him in the eyes. 

“You are a lot of things, you are a wanker, a shithead, a complete and utter prick, but you are not a pansy Nick. You are the toughest man I know and no fucking tampon is going to change that.” 

Nick stares at John for a moment before suddenly stepping forward and catching John in an embrace. John rubs his back and buries his face into his shoulder as Nick stains his festive sweater, and for the first time, John thinks of Nick as something other than a wanker.


End file.
